I’m so sorry I haven’t written in a while. While inexcusable, I have been busy.
The first issue that occurred shortly after I last posted was I had to send my phone out for repair to HTC because my camera was taking pink tinged pictures. I know it sounds cool, and I love pink, but my warranty was expiring and it needed to get done. The phone I used for the duration of the repair was a fossil, supported nothing and did not get me closer to achieving my dream of blogging.
I spent so many days thinking about blogging. I bought supplies to make crafts that got pushed back on my to-do list as summer ended. I tried to put together a blog binder that I hoped would organize and inspire me. I hoped a functioning editorial calendar would be concise and help me schedule posts that would be more consistent than when I felt like it. I worked A LOT. I spent amazing days with my loved ones in the sun. I tried to make candy from scratch (which deserves it’s own blog post another time) and failed moderately. I got my phone back from HTC and never logged back into my lovecasyblog Instagram account so I know you’re all wondering where my awesome summer pictures are. I had too many ideas and not enough planning.
Recently, I listened to the awesomely inspiring Jim Carrey on Youtube deliver a commencement speech at the 2014 MUM graduation. He spoke of how we can spend our whole life worrying about ghosts and the paths towards the future but all we really have are the decisions in front of us which are based in either love or fear. He says so many of us base our decisions based on fear disguised as practicality. He spoke of how his father could’ve been a great comedian but instead made a conservative choice and took a safe job as an accountant. His father was let go of that job when he was a 12 and it taught him a valuable lesson: that we can fail at what we don’t want so we might as well take a chance at doing what we love.
Listening to Jim Carrey’s speech made me feel like he was talking directly to me. So many of my choices I feel like I’ve made based in fear. I began listing them but as the page became overwhelmingly full of examples, I just deleted them. From relationships, to education, to career choices, you don’t need to know all of the decisions I’ve made based on fear. I worry so much about the future because that is how I was raised, by people who also only ever worried about the future. When I was a child no one ever told me I could be or do anything I wanted. The message thrust upon me the hardest was I should obey unquestioningly to have a “successful” life, which only propelled me more violently in another direction and launched a thousand more questions which have never been answered. The world is changing. I am changing and I truly believe that I can follow my own path and succeed. I just need to work at it and never give up.
I have a dream of running a blog and sharing my life with the world. I already have the blog but as you can see from my lack of posts I’ve been scared. Fear has been weighing me down, and as the distance in blog posts becomes longer, the fear only grows larger. I worry that people may not like my blog posts, or no one will read them, and somewhere along the way I forgot that I wanted to do this for me. It’s time to end the irrational fear and start writing until my heart’s content.
I hope you’ll bear with me while I work to achieve goals I haven’t set yet.
For now, just know that fear shouldn’t hold you back from anything either.
Go live your dream!